Apr 1, 2021
Divorce and Co-Parenting
with Lauren Hunt
When you get a divorce, the
hardest part is often figuring out co-parenting. How do you
communicate without any misunderstandings? What is the ideal
custody arrangement for your children? Most of all, what is the
best way to navigate a high conflict relationship?
In this week's episode,
matrimonial and family attorney and mediator Lauren Hunt joins us
to talk about overcoming the challenges that come with divorce.
She's here to give legal advice to those in high conflict or
challenging co-parenting situations. Lauren also shares a few tools
to help with the usual problems that you might encounter. And, for
those who still aren't sure whether they want to get a divorce,
Lauren discusses some ways to help you decide and know for
If you want to learn effective
tips and tricks to handling divorce and co-parenting, then tune in
to this episode!
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the
- Learn about the things that make co-parenting
difficult and how you can effectively deal with them.
- Discover the best forms of communication and
- Find out how to come up with the ideal custody
arrangement for your situation.
- When Lauren was in second grade, her parents
had a high-conflict divorce.
- While she was in law school, she did an
internship at a local organization that assisted domestic violence
victims. She knew then that it was what she wanted to
- She found the field incredibly interesting
since she was doing different things every day.
Things That Make Co-Parenting Difficult
- The number one thing is
- Typically, in a high-conflict relationship,
lots of misunderstandings happen. They tend to focus on the actions
of the other.
- Before you enter any conversation, the best
thing to do is to set your goals and make sure it's for your
The Best Forms of Communication and
- There are many different co-parenting apps out
there, and using one can prove helpful.
- One reason is that it places all the
communications in one spot, so it's like a designated space for
only that, without any distractions.
- When it comes to documentation, Lauren's best
suggestion is to create an email chain with yourself.
- It's easy to do, and you get to see the time
and date, which can help you build credibility in
Helpful Tips for Co-Parenting
- Co-parenting situations are harder with the
pandemic since some people will follow the rules rigidly while
other people don't care.
- The children then end up getting stuck in the
middle, so you have to figure out a way to work
- You should focus on finding a baseline or
common ground between the two of you, like wearing masks or social
On the Matrimonial Field and the Ideal Custody
- In general, Lauren thinks people are much more
understanding when someone is going through a divorce. There's more
leeway at work, and schedules are more flexible.
- The ideal custody arrangement changes depending
on the specific children you have.
- When Lauren was a child, her custody
arrangement was living primarily with her mother and seeing her
father on alternating weekends, but she wished it were closer to
- As long as both parents are safe and good, the
kids should spend a good amount of time with both.
- One factor to consider is that some children
don't do well with changing households frequently.
How Do You Know When to Get a Divorce?
- One of the many possible answers is if
something happened that you cannot forgive.
- At the very least, you can get information on
what divorce could look like for you.
- Another way to answer that question is to see a
divorce attorney and get a consultation.
- Doing that does not obligate you to go through
with it. It simply lets you have more information so you can make
an educated decision.
Lauren’s Daily Non-Negotiables and Advice
- Aside from coffee, her daily ritual is to write
one line a day in her journal.
- The first advice she would give to someone
having difficulty co-parenting is to find a trusted counselor or
- You need an outlet separate from your friends
and family that can work as a venting spot.
- The second is getting a consultation with an
attorney to understand it more and start to put parameters around
- Lastly, never answer your email if you are
feeling any amount of annoyance. Sleep on it instead.
5 Powerful Quotes from this Episode
“I think communication is really
the biggest hurdle that you have to face when you’re in a high
conflict relationship. How can you create some sort of channels of
communication where you can actually have productive
“When you go into the
conversation, just make sure you’re doing so with a headspace of,
‘What is my actual goal here?’ and all of your communication has to
focus on that goal.”
“The goal with a high conflict
relationship is doing what you can to remove the conflict, because
all we have control over is ourselves. We can’t control how they’re
going to respond.”
“Sometimes you can’t forgive
things. Or you can’t look past it, because it’s always just going
to be at the forefront of your mind. And that’s okay.”
“Never, ever answer an email if
you have any amount of annoyance. Just don’t do it. It’s just gonna
be there, sleep on it. (...) Just do not respond if you’re agitated
in any amount.”
Lauren Hunt is
an attorney and mediator in New York State. Her practice has
exclusively been in the field of family and matrimonial law for
over a decade now, focusing on matters related to divorce,
prenuptial agreements, child support, child custody and parenting
time, and adoption.
Lauren understands that you have
to resolve family problems quickly, cost-effectively, and in a way
that addresses the client's short- and long-term needs. She works
to craft individualized solutions that are practical and realistic,
and she accounts for each client's unique facts. Currently, she is
the owner of Lauren L. Hunt Esq., PLLC, a family-focused law
If you want to learn more about
Lauren, you can visit her website or reach out to her on Instagram, LinkedIn, or Facebook.
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