Jul 30, 2020
Alex Boykins: Healing Old
Wounds to Loving with Healthy Boundaries
Emotional wounds hurt as much as
physical wounds. When they remain unhealed, they can get in the way
of finding love. They make us incapable of being vulnerable, which
is necessary for making connections. If we are to have a loving
relationship, we need to shed our armors so that we can get to the
wounds that pain us.
In this episode, we are joined
by Alex Boykins, a nurse specializing in pain management. Alex
fills us in on her frontline work during the COVID-19 pandemic. She
also shares how her comedy podcast The Hate Journals helps her stay
sane and at peace. Alex also emphasizes the value of therapy and
emotional support in maintaining our relationships.
Tune in to the episode to learn
how to heal old wounds so that you can live, laugh, and love
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the
about Alex’s previous relationships and how she healed from
out why Alex started her comedy podcast.
- Discover valuable advice about therapy,
friendships, and marriage.
Alex During the COVID-19 Pandemic
has been busier than she has ever been.
misses the time when everyone was kind and helpful to one
feels like everyone has been down lately, and that bums her
management is a tough job even before the health
- Although being a clinician is a mentally
draining work, it brings her fulfillment.
Starting a Comedy Podcast
has always believed in having an escape from the stressors in our
life that are out of our control.
- Coming from a family of funny people, she knows
comedy alleviates stress and anxiety.
able to play games, have fun, and start an engaging conversation
through podcasts is important to her.
are many serious and depressing podcasts out there, so she wanted
to stand out by being lighter.
co-hosts the podcast with her best friend to show that women can
have healthy relationships with one another.
Thinking Outside the Box
we experience hardship, it is easy to get into a depressive
are not alone. We need to understand that people experience the
is too short to not do what you want to.
Relating to Stand-Up Comedians
talks about her favorite stand-up comedians and why she loves them
so much. Listen to the full episode to learn more!
believes she needs to pivot her therapy into comedy.
Alex’s Healing Journey
- Growing up with parents in an interracial
relationship, she realized society didn't accept them
black in a white neighborhood also made her feel different and have
a “take what you can get” mentality.
ended up having sexual relations with men who would refuse to make
their relationship public out of shame.
- Realizing her relationships failed because of
her skin color made her work on herself.
- Coming out of an abusive relationship, she
promised she’ll never put herself in that situation
Realizations from Relationships
cannot fix others. You can only work on yourself.
if you never find romance and get married, you are perfect just the
way you are.
Meeting Her Husband
she met her husband, Alex didn’t know how to accept love from other
- Because they had a lot of mutual friends, Alex
was hesitant at first to give her now-husband a shot.
- Listen to the full episode to hear how Alex met
Tools to Stay Stable
- Therapy is essential for mental
- Alex’s biggest fear is her marriage failing
because they didn’t put in the work.
- Unchecked mental illnesses affect our
relationships, and they should be treated.
partner must be a dependable emotional support.
Commitment to the Relationship
- Vulnerability is essential in a
never wants her husband to feel like she is talking about him to
her friends behind his back.
has two people who help them cultivate their marriage because,
according to her, it takes a village to keep your marriage happy
Having a Support Network
- Having support from your girlfriends is crucial
to keeping your sanity.
- Sometimes, having someone who is your safe
place is all you need.
How to Balance Everything
doesn’t want to die with regrets.
wants to show her stepdaughter to chase her dreams no matter how
unconventional they are.
needs to be happy to be a good wife.
busy doing the things you love, not the things you
- Respect is a non-negotiable for Alex. It is
free and can be given to everyone.
Advice for Suffering Women
you’re unhappy and in a bad relationship, do not isolate
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
“Go out and do the thing that
makes you happy. Life is so incredibly short for us not to be doing
the things that we want to do.”
“I am who I am. I can change and
fix no one. I can only fix me, and I can only work on
“I cannot stress enough:
therapy, therapy, therapy. It is so important to have somebody who
you pay to keep your secrets, honey.”
“It is important to have another
woman, another breathing, eating, woman who really fucking gets
you, and is never gonna judge you, and is going to stand by
“We say it takes a village to
raise a child, and that's true. But it takes a village to keep your
marriage happy and healthy.”
Alex Boykins is
a full-time nurse, specializing in pain management. She is also the
co-host of The Hate Journals podcast and a loving wife and mom,
residing in Reno, Nevada. Alex believes in leading a fulfilling
life full of healthy relationships, happiness, and
You can follow her on
Instagram or visit her website.
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